Ep #27: Your Money Shadow Side: How To Not Let It Take Control

Hey, coach. Let's talk about money for a moment. What I discovered is that money, it isn't just currency. Your relationship with money isn't random. There is a divine connection between you and money that it is time to call forth. But maybe you've noticed there is a shadow side to your thoughts and feelings about money.

I'm Kendall. Tune in because in today's episode, I'm going to show you how to pinpoint exactly what your money shadow side looks like. Then I'm going to show you how you can avoid letting that shadow side take control and cause big problems for you in your business. Because you want to be running your business and not letting your shadow side try to take control. It's all here for you in this episode of The Money Coach School Podcast. Let's dive in.

Welcome to The Money Coach School Podcast. To really excel at coaching women, you have to be skilled, confident, and even fearless at money coaching. If you're passionate about women holding genuine money power and love supporting women entrepreneurs, then this is the show for you. Now, here's your host, money feminist Kendall SummerHawk.

Welcome, beautiful coach. I am so excited to share this episode with you. The reason is because we're going to dive deep into one of the bodies of work that I am most well-known for, which is sacred money archetypes. I need to give you a heads up because I'm going to gush a little bit here about the archetypes. I can't help it. Sacred money archetypes absolutely changed my life, absolutely changed how much money I make, absolutely changed my relationship with money. It is truly what has made me who I am today.

So today, I want to go behind the scenes with you and take you through vanquishing your particular money shadow side so that you can unlock the money making potential within you. You're going to want to listen closely because you're going to learn so much about your top sacred money archetype. Plus, it's always so fascinating to hear about the other money archetypes.

So as a bit of background, I am the creator of sacred money archetypes, and I am your exclusive source for certified coach training in this truly remarkable money coaching system. What I discovered is that money is not just currency. Your relationship with money is not random. So I really want you to take those two things that I just said, take them in. There is a divine connection between you and money, and it's time to call that connection forth. What makes this easy to do is sacred money archetypes.

So they're eight distinct sacred money archetypes. Each archetype reveals with really like wickedly uncanny accuracy your unique money strengths, your gifts, your behaviors, and, of course, the shadow side, which we're going to get into here today. Your money archetypes shape your thoughts and your feelings and your relationship with money, your relationship with wealth, with earning, with saving and spending, but they don't stop just there. They also provide powerful insight into who you are as a person. They help you create new and exciting growth opportunities in all areas of your life, in your business, and in your relationships.

So yes, there is a divine connection between you and money and illuminating this connection, well, that's my unique brilliance. That's why God put me on the planet in this lifetime. So the way that we do that is through the sacred money archetypes that I created, and, of course, through its powerful money personality quiz.

Now, if you have not taken the quiz yet to discover your archetypes, you are definitely going to want to do that. So I’ll link to the quiz in the show notes. The quiz will reveal what your archetypes are, and they also reveal what your relationship with money can look like. No, not the drama version, or the nonsense version from the past, none of that. But really opening the door for you into this new, exciting, empowered, and richly prosperous relationship that you are meant to experience.

So, for example, my top archetype is ruler, and actually it's the top three highest scoring archetypes we pay attention to. So my top three are ruler, maverick, and accumulator. So yeah, it's a natural that I passionately obsess about igniting your unlimited power to make more money.

So the insights that you gained from knowing your sacred money archetypes are fascinating and truly the key that you've been looking for so that you can let go of money sabotages and instead use the strengths of your archetypes to create that relationship with money that you have been seeking. Because money is the next piece for the modern woman.

So that's a little bit about the background of the archetypes. By the way, I've been certifying women in the archetypes now for 15 years. So quite a long track record. there.

Now, what I want to give you today is a behind the scenes look at your money shadow side, and how it may be showing up in your business, and specifically some things that you can do about that. If you've been doing money coaching or you're finding that money keeps coming up in the work you already do with clients, then I encourage you to check out my sacred money archetypes certified coach training, and I'll link to that at the top of the show notes.

Certification in SMA, as we call it, for short, has helped thousands of women across the world discover that they can be empowered with money. That they can break through cultural, generational, and gender conditioning, and achieve money goals beyond what society has previously told women that we are capable of.

If you want to bring this incredible tool into your business as a new income stream, or integrate it into your current services, definitely check out certification. Now one more thing about certification. My certification trainings and courses set the standard for money coach training in the coach industry. We've now taught thousands women around the world how to free themselves from money blocks, how to leverage their strengths, create impact, and of course, make money as a coach. That's what I'm here to help you do.

The women that I've trained as money coaches in SMA, they're adding the archetypes as an income stream to their businesses. They're making money, and they're changing lives in the process. That's what feels so incredibly fulfilling. I mean, it brings new meaning to the word rich, right? So they're making money. They're changing lives. They're breaking free of past money conditioning, and they're creating the biggest life that they can imagine for themselves. They're replacing doubt with feeling worthy of success at every level. So that's a little bit about SMA certification.

All right, so today I want to talk with you about number one, how you can avoid letting that shadow side take control and cause big problems. Of course, we don't want that. Number two, I'm going to go pinpoint for you a specific money boundary unique to your archetype that will release you from old unintentional ways of thinking about money. As a result, free you to start earning and keeping more money. Again, if you don't know your top money archetypes then definitely use the link in the show notes to go take that free quiz.

Number three, I'm going to give you a sacred money archetypes coaching question specifically tailored to your archetype. Alright, well, let's get started. We're going to start with you rulers.

So as a ruler, we know that you are a visionary. You are an idea machine. We know that you are not afraid of hard work, and that you have really big dreams, big goals, and plenty of ambition. It's your ambition, most of all, that drives you. Your overarching gift here is illuminating that desire to achieve. So can you already guess what your boundary challenge is? It's over working and even over monetizing.

Now, don't get me wrong. Hard work is a great thing. As a ruler myself, I love thinking of ways to monetize every idea that I have. But you can easily slip into using all of that lovely ambition against yourself and create what I call, quote, moving success targets, quote. So I'm putting it in air quotes here.

This is never allowing yourself to feel satisfied that what you've achieved so far is incredible. Because in your mind, you're already on to the next goal. You're on to the next idea to monetize, the next business venture. Rulers worry that if you slow down for even a second, it's like you're going to lose a vital piece of your identity. It's that piece that is so determined and centered on generating and creating and monetizing.

What that can mean is spreading yourself too thin and experiencing really what becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy where your ideas don't get enough attention and energy, leaving you feeling overwhelmed, unfulfilled, and often frustrated. Oh my gosh, do I feel you. So if there was ever a saying tailor made for you, it is less is more. So your boundary challenge, my beautiful ruler, is to start saying no to the day to day and to the less important. It is time to stop diluting your incredible power and stop distracting yourself with lots of tiny projects when you can use your visionary creativity to say yes to your true soul's work.

It's time to stop juggling and to start running your visionary ideas through a screening process. So instead of saying yes to all of your ideas, you channel your time and your energy only two into what is meaningful for you. I mean truly meaningful. Now this takes courage, but courage is one of your strengths. So you can do this.

So my sacred money archetypes coaching question for you is this. Is there a dream that you've kept secret? Maybe in fear that you'll look arrogant or that you'll be judged as being too big for your britches, or you fear you won't be able to accomplish it? That dream you've kept secret, this is your souls work calling for you to do. The boundary of saying no to all the small things will create space for that big impact that you're meant to make.

All right, next let's talk to you alchemists. Alchemists, you love the unconventional. You are daring and creative, and you are not shy about championing causes that support the underdog. What lights you up is being a catalyst for positive change in the world. It's not unusual for you to be around money. But let's be honest, you often see yourself as being above money. You're not indifferent to it, far from it.

In fact, you're the only archetype that has this fascinating duality, this love/hate relationship with money. You love having use of it, but at the same time, you resent its importance in the world. You often think of money as unspiritual or impersonal. that then often causes you to feel guilty about making money, because you feel that in some way, it betrays your ideals.

So your money boundary, my magical alchemist, is to create peace with money and to soften those love/hate edges. Because that love/hate energy, it interferes with being able to take your ideas from the inspirations to age all the way through to making them manifest, making them tangible. You're an idealist, and you have big ideas that can impact many, many people. That takes having money and being willing to be the one making money.

I want you to trust me on this. There is absolutely no way making money is going to corrupt or pollute your values. You are too clear about who you are and what you stand for to ever have that happen. Now I'm going to speak plainly here. It's time to stop snubbing money.

It's time to stop trading and bartering your talents. Money is something that you can master. Your reason why is because money is a magical tool. It's time to embrace that you can make peace with money, appreciating it, and no longer distancing yourself from it without ever giving up any of your beautiful ideals, standards, or values. There is magic to making money, and now is the time to give yourself permission to experience that.

So I want you to think of all the good you can do in the world with money. I want you to think of how good it will feel to be free of any negative feelings about it. So my SMA coaching question for you is this. What negative belief about money will you release so that you can create the type of positive change that is your soul’s work?

Okay next are you accumulators. Okay my beautiful accumulators, you are the trusted, the steady, the reliable one who finds saving and living within your means as natural as breathing. You are always on the money. Your ability to create financial safety is something other archetypes often envy for sure. But with all that focus on safety, there is an underlying current of fear and distrust. You fret and you worry that there will never be enough or that poof, what you have might disappear at a moment's notice.

So fear ends up informing a lot of your decisions accumulator. You struggle with the boundary of investing in your future because you're so frugal, or you overthink investing in a course or insist on only buying something when it's rock bottom on sale. Now you might be thinking well, what's wrong with that? I know you feel proud of being so frugal, and that's great. But I'm going to be straight up with you here. This is a scarcity mindset.

So for you, my dear accumulator, your boundary challenge can be summed up in one word, expansion. Your boundary work is not to say no. It's to say yes. My SMA coaching question for you is this, what is an investment that you can make right now that will expand your income? Because yes, expansion is a good thing.

So maybe that investment is a new training course so that you have something new to offer in your business. Maybe there's something in your business or your life that's overdue for an upgrade so that you're aligned with bringing in more money and more clients into your business.

Accumulator is my third archetype so I can fully appreciate how uncomfortable it can feel to invest in myself or in my business I would much rather hang on tight to my money. But instead of allowing that fear to take hold and make that decision for me, I remind myself that I'm amazing with money. I trust my gut, my intuition. That my intuition is nudging me in a direction so that I can expand more fully into my soul's work.

This is what you're being called to do with this time, accumulator. To expand your soul's work, to expand how much money you're making, and then see that money sitting so prettily in your bank account, which makes your heart go pity-pat and feel so delicious for you.

Now, one last tip I'll share with you. While it's tempting to want to see exact exactly to the penny in advance how investing in a course or something for your business is going to pay off, that is not the wisest way of looking at it. What is far wiser is to decide that no matter what, you will get a return on your investment. When you make that decision, you're taking control and you're making your success inevitable.

Okay, mavericks, your turn. Let's go. So as a maverick, you are definitely that rule breaker. Whether you're outspoken or you're the quiet type, you definitely love to zig when everyone else is zagging. One thing is certain, you love to prove that you can do things your way. You are never willing to play by the rules just to get along. When it comes to money, you are fearless, clever, and resourceful. I love all this about you. Your ability to make money is awe inspiring.

You're going to take risks. You're going to pursue opportunities that most other people wouldn't dream of. For you, it's natural. In fact, you love the adrenaline thrill of it. Admit it, money is a game for you that you love to win. You get a new idea. Never mind what you already have started. You're willing to burn everything down to pursue the new and exciting.

You can sabotage success because you get bored quickly, or you even rebel against the idea of being successful because of a quirky idea that oh success is so mainstream. Trust me, it isn't. Now my second money archetype is maverick. So trust me, I get you. Pulling up stakes to start something entirely different, entirely new is exactly what I did when I started my business decades ago. It's what I did when I decided to start money coaching and certifying women as SMA coaches 15 years ago. My maverick was definitely leading the way, and I'm so glad that she did.

But let's be real here. All that burn it down, start again, stop before you really achieve success takes a lot of time. It consumes a lot of energy, and it takes up all of your bandwidth. To be perfectly blunt with you, it's not the fullest highest expression of your cleverness and your talent and making money. So can you guess what your boundary challenge is? It's creating a foundation. It's creating sustainability. I know. I know. Even saying that, I can feel you maverick I can feel you saying that is so boring. But hear me out for a moment.

My sacred money archetype coaching question for you is this. What project could you pour your considerable talent for making money into that would create sustainable income? Maybe adding a new income stream to your business, for example, or really challenging yourself to make a big impact for many more people than you ever have.

The key is to hold the money boundary of not burning everything down. But instead to challenge yourself to keep up-leveling. This is your challenge. This is your soul's work. Because deep down in your heart, it's not society that you want to challenge. It's your own limits.

Let's flip the switch here and go in an entirely different direction and talk about my deeply caring nurturers. So nurturers, we know that you are always thinking about others, wanting to give and protect and support people and animals on the planet. No doubt about it. Caretaking, that's your currency. Your compassion and generosity make you a very special light in the world. I so appreciate you.

There is a fascinating duality to you where you appreciate money, and typically you have very good money habits. You're responsible with money for your own self for sure. Then there is another part that selflessly gives and gives and gifts gives. All that generosity includes helping and rescuing others financially. You know you do this. That often ends up compromising your own financial stability, and it causes you a lot of money stress.

With your compassionate heart, it's not uncommon for people to ask you for a loan, or want you to discount your pricing or ask for favors or expect you to rescue them from their financial mistakes, their lack of planning, their need for emergency money, or just their plane money irresponsibility.

No surprise, I have met so many nurtures who had debt not because of themselves, but they borrowed money or use their credit cards and create a debt to help someone else out of a jam. So your boundary challenge is this. It’s time to start letting others take responsibility for their actions and you focus on you. It's time to stop feeling responsible for everyone and their decisions. It's time to stop putting your dreams at the bottom of the priority list.

Your soul's work is to intentionally chart a new direction for yourself, a direction where you find new ways to serve and empower others that do not include financial support. So my SMA coaching question for you is this. If you embrace the mantra that you are not responsible for others, you are not responsible for the world, then what new boundary would you put into place? Where would you stop giving away your time or your money or giving discounts or low rates or extra services or loans?

Now is your time to embrace that mantra and to free yourself from over caretaking. Then use all that reclaimed energy to create that offer or that new service that you've been secretly wanting to do. Your business is the perfect opportunity for you to make a contribution and to shift from merely serving to intentionally empowering others. Your gift is in creating an experience where people feel cared for and supported. You deserve to be generously paid for that by clients. Yes, it's going to take courage to break free of a pattern, but you are strong. You are very resourceful. I love that about you.

Okay, celebrities, it's your turn in the spotlight. We know that you love the doors that money can open. You love special opportunities, and anything and everything VIP. Accepting luxury and having high standards, that comes naturally for you. You are super fun to hang out with because you're so generous. You love to create exceptional experiences, and you love to live life large.

So can you guess what your money challenges? It's dismissing as unimportant creating a financial cushion. It's not that you don't know how to make money. You actually do. You're often a natural at sales and inspiring people to step up to a higher standard. You're typically not shy about embracing higher fees.

But what this boundary challenge is challenging you to do is to give yourself permission to have money. Money in your bank account and more than enough money to pay your bills every month. That's a challenge because you're naturally impatient, and you love to spend it right now. It's like there's a part of you that thinks why have money when no one can see it? Why not spend it and feel good with that amazing purse or look good in the photos on that incredible holiday.

But here's the thing, the glow of spending in the moment quickly transforms into a painful truth when your bank balance just can't keep up. If you're being 100% honest, that often leaves you feeling no small amount of shame or stress.

So the good news is you do not need to change your celebrity nature. The world needs people like you to be a role model and to inspire others to think bigger, and you're so good at that. Your talent to stretch other’s thinking is impressive. So to support you with this boundary challenge, my SMA coaching question for you is this.

Imagine you are the star of your financial future one year from now. So what is a transformational money decision that you can make today? Maybe it's time to coach others on money because you're so comfortable with it. Maybe it's saying yes to a new opportunity that maybe may not have all the glamour on the outside but that can create wealth for you when you apply your considerable talent to it.

This is your soul's work to generously give yourself the experience of having money. It will surprise and it will delight you how rich and abundant you can feel having money, I promise.

Okay, connectors, are you ready to discover more about yourself? So we know that as a connector, your heart is always focused on relationships. Being with people, volunteering, helping, this is what you value. While you may initially have what we call archetype envy and wish that you were a ruler or one of the other archetypes, the truth is as a connector, you possess a faith and optimism about money that others wish they had.

There's an innocence to you about money. You don't over think it or think of hustling for it. That's just not your nature. That leads me to the boundary challenge that you my heart centered connector possess, which is feeling so distant with money that you easily get overwhelmed with basic money details.

If there was a model that you may be living by, it would be out of sight out of mind. Nothing would make you happier than to not ever have to think about, handle, or deal with money ever again. But that disconnect with money can show up as giving away your time or severely under charging or being happy with appreciation instead of being paid or doing work where you're not clear exactly when and how and how much you're going to be paid and feeling highly uncomfortable talking about money, even with people you're close to.

You also have to be mindful that a disinterest in money does not lead you into harmful relationships where you just abdicate money decisions. You have to be careful because your trusting nature in combination with your desire that money would just go away, it means you can easily be taken advantage of or follow financial advice that is not in your best interest.

So my SMA coaching question for you is imagine if your relationship with money was as close and personal as one you're in with someone you love and care about deeply. What one money habit would you empower yourself to learn and get comfortable with? This is your soul's work to be brave and create a relationship with money that honors your values, just like the relationships you have with people do.

There is no chance that you're going to become someone that you're not. You're never going to lose that wonderful faith and optimism that is your brilliance. What you gain is a feeling of gentle empowerment with yourself that will deepen your sense of self-worth and your sense of value in the world.

All right, last archetype romantic. Oh, my pleasure seeking romantic. No doubt about it, you know how to enjoy life's abundance of experiences and pleasures, you have a here and now style of living. What feels good to you is what you say yes to without hesitation. Why wait? Why not now? Why not this? Why not live for today? This is what you tell yourself. So if you're having a down day, that's when shopping is your self-soothing go to. Projects that need work put into them now for a reward in the future hold little or no appeal for you.

So what is the boundary challenge? Shrugging off your money habits and telling yourself that you're, quote, just not good with money. This creates a hands off relationship with money or even a resistance to money that just does not serve your dreams and desires. It also creates an unstable money picture behind the scenes, one that brings up intense and painful feelings of guilt or shame when that credit card bill comes in or credit card bills and when you're wondering how on earth you spent so much in such a short period of time.

So here's the key, my beautiful romantic, that will make everything easily slip into place for you. The key is to not get trapped into thinking that there's no pleasure to be found in work or no pleasure in paying attention to money. You're very clever and creative. So the key is to create enjoyment and pleasure in your money making activities and to find pleasure in cultivating simple new money habits that keep you aware and intentional about spending.

This is being intentional to find the feel good in what will bring in the money and find the feel good and fresh money habits that will bring you financial security. There is a richness to having money that you deserve to experience and the richness in knowing you have all that you need to buy the services, to buy the support and the experiences that you want minus the guilt and the shame hangover that can otherwise accompany those purchases.

So my SMA coaching question for you is this. What is one new thought that you can embrace that gives you a feeling of pleasure in creating a new money habit? This is your soul's work romantic. To stretch your thinking to include pleasant, even pleasurable feel good thoughts about making and having money. It’s to include having money as a key element in your definition of living life to its fullest.

So there you go, an introduction into the eight sacred money archetypes. Just one example of a specific money boundary unique to your archetype that will release you from old unintentional ways of thinking about money. As a result for you to start earning and keeping more money.

The thing is your money shadow side is just that, it's a shadow. Which means that when you illuminate what it is, it starts to disappear. When it shows up, you can recognize it not as truth because it's not truth. It's just a shadow. You can take specific actions to instantly reclaim your power with money and be the one in charge of your relationship with money.

Every day, we have people reaching out to us who want sacred money archetype certification training. Why? It's so that they can feel confident and qualified to deliver deep, profoundly impactful money coaching. You're probably just like many of these people. Maybe you're a coach or consultant or trainer or speaker or a therapist or someone in a healing or helping profession.

What you'll discover is that as you learn how to deliver sacred money archetypes, incredible inspiring things will start happening for you as well. You will unlock the excitement and the ease of a complete money coaching system that's done for you and brand is your own. You'll create a brand new profitable money coaching offer that lights you up as you deliver to clients. You will discover more about yourself and start empowering yourself with money more than you have ever thought possible.

The money coaching process inside of SMA is simple to learn. It's rewarding to deliver, and everything you need to deliver deep transformational money coaching is included. It's all here for you. So I hope that you check it out. I'll make sure to link to SMA certification in the show notes. All right, my beautiful soul. Tune in next week for our next episode on shifting your self-concept about money, giving you the skills to become a successful coach so that you can create impact, empower, and inspire women entrepreneurs as your clients. Take care of my beautiful soul. I will see you next week.

Thank you so much for tuning into this week's episode of The Money Coach School Podcast. If you enjoyed this podcast, make sure you follow so you never miss an episode. Also, I would so love and appreciate if you would leave a 5-star review. Your review supports women just like you in discovering all of the juicy tips and insights I’m sharing here on how to coach women on money.

And if you want to learn how to excel at coaching women on money, definitely go to KendallSummerHawk.com and check out the wealth of money coach trainings that we have for you. Thanks so much for being part of this money coaching movement and for tuning into the show every week.