Ep #35: Money Isn’t ‘Either/Or’

Hey coach, if you've ever had thoughts like ‘I want to make more money but…,’ then I guarantee what you're experiencing is what I call either or thinking. You know what? It doesn't serve you. I'm Kendall.

Tune in to today's episode where I'm going to share with you exactly how to recognize if you're getting caught in either or thinking, why it's not true, why we, as women, are more easily influenced to think this way, and most importantly, I'm going to give you a simple self-coaching exercise you can do in just a few minutes to stop either or thinking and what you want to think instead so that you can have all the goodies that you want. Money, creating wealth, free time, family time, and the life that you absolutely love. It's all here for you in this episode of The Money Coach School Podcast. Let’s dive in.

Welcome to The Money Coach School Podcast. To really excel at coaching women, you have to be skilled, confident, and even fearless at money coaching. If you're passionate about women holding genuine money power and love supporting women entrepreneurs, then this is the show for you. Now, here's your host, money feminist Kendall SummerHawk.

Hello, beautiful coach. Today we are going to talk about one of the subtle yet so very powerful ways that how you may be looking at money can be subverting your goal of creating more money, of keeping more money, and experiencing what I call the overflow effect.

So if you've hung out with me for more than a hot minute in the online space then you know that I am completely obsessed with two things: mastering your coaching skills and transforming your relationship with money. Period. That's it. I am a money feminist. I am a stan for women having true financial equality and financial power and freedom. I'm a stan for mastering your coaching skills because excellence in coaching is what will always give you that edge and set you apart from other coaches.

Money and coaching are like the two best things ever to focus on. I love them so much. Of course, outside of my business, I am totally obsessed with my beautiful Spanish Andalusian horses and having so much fun with them riding dressage, training them at liberty, and doing all the fun things that we do together.

So you know how it is when you are fascinated by something. You start seeing it everywhere. That's how it is with me and money. I notice all of the time how people talk about money, how my clients inside of certification talk about money, or when I'm being interviewed on other people's podcast, how the podcast host talks about money.

For me, since I specialize in money coaching, everything means something to me. Someone's comment about money is this incredible portal for me into their thinking, their beliefs, and their self-concept about money. All the clues are right there when someone talks about money, even if they're only saying a sentence or two. That's what inspired me to bring you today's episode because I keep hearing women talking about money as if it's this either or thing.

So today I'm going to give you examples of what that sounds like, a few thoughts I have about why you may be looking at money this way, and a simple self-coaching exercise you can do to shift your thinking so that instead of either or, it's yes and, which is what will really help throw up in the door to you making more money, keeping more money, and experiencing overflow.

Okay, so what do I mean by either or thinking? Either or is when someone says, for example, I want to make more money, but I don't want to work more. Or I really want more money, but I don’t want to give up more of my time. Or I want more money, but spending time with my family is more important to me.

Now I could probably give you dozens of these examples, but do you already see the pattern here? It's always I want more money but. It's always framed up as more money coming in means giving something else up that's too valuable to sacrifice.

So those examples are just the ones that I hear, and I know for sure that what's happening for you can also be that silent voice that says I want more money, but I'm afraid I'll be judged by my family or by the culture that I'm part of. Or I want more money, but then I'll be setting myself up as better than others or some version of that. So we have the either or thinking that we give voice to externally, and there's the  either or thinking we say to ourselves and keep secreted away.

So let me tell you right here and now, money is not either or. This idea that there's this trade-off of time or freedom or approval or belonging in order to have more money, it just isn't a thing. It only seems like a thing because that's what society has taught us. Society has demonized the desire for money, particularly for women, as something that you have to sacrifice for, as something that you have to sell your soul for, as something that it's going to rob you of what you value most, which is freedom and family and belonging.

We, as women, are much more easily influenced to think this way because society does not typically make space for a woman to make a lot of money and have the other elements of her life that she loves. A woman wanting to do that is seen as a threat to societal norms. So there's a lot of pressure placed on women to not even think about making money or making a lot of money, but that's a different topic for another episode.

I'm going to ask you here and now to stop just defaulting and accepting that idea as truth because it's not true. This idea of either or is just not true. Creating more money in your life never has to be a trade-off of your time or your energy or your values, not ever. Every time someone tries to get you to believe that, it's a lie.

Money is not either or, it's yes and. You can create more money and have time freedom like I do, and coaching is this incredible industry to achieve those twin goals. It's like where else can you literally make as much money as you can dream of, honor all of your values, make an impact on the lives of others through your coaching, and be your own boss? It's like crazy good how the coaching industry is here to serve us in this way.

I look at it as the coaching industry is here to serve you so that you can be of service to others. It’s this continuum, right, so that you can provide for your family, so that you can experience overflow, so that you can create wealth. I wake up grateful every day that I just stumbled into the coaching industry over 23 years ago because it's real. The money and the opportunities are real, and it is the best industry on the planet for women to help other women.

Even if your coaching business is a side income for you. I mean you can have just two or three clients that you're coaching a month on the side and be bringing in five thousand dollars or more a month.

So back to money not being either or but being yes and. You can experience creating more money and honoring what you value most if you are willing to rebel against the conditioning and the imprinting that society has been pressing upon you. I want to give you two tips right now on how to do this.

Tip number one, really turn up the dial on your self-awareness and notice where you may be having an either or thought. Usually it's something like I want more money but then I'll have to work harder. Simply not true. There is so much proof of this not being true that's fully available for you to notice once you have the self-awareness.

So for example, I work on average 25 hours a week. I have been working 25 hours a week for years, and I have made millions of dollars during that time. Now how I've done that is first by being unwilling to trade my time for an hourly rate. Being unwilling to trade my time for low coaching fees. I mean oh my gosh, no freaking way. Or ignoring the incredible opportunities that exist in the coaching space to run group programs and run trainings, which massively leverage your time and bring in a very high coaching income. So number one, turn up the dial on your self-awareness.

Number two, what is your yes and? So here's that simple potent self-coaching exercise I promised you, and you can do this in just a few minutes. So you can accelerate this process of releasing either or thinking and embracing yes and thinking by listing everything you think you have to give up in order to have more money. I want you to be really detailed here.

So, for example, don't just list time. List time doing what? So, for example, for me, I would be listing time with my horses, time to write, time to read, time to exercise, time to talk on the phone with my mom every day, which I love to do. You want to list it all out, and then here's the turnaround. In front of everything you listed, write in I create more and more money, and I have time for and then fill it in with what you already listed.

So using my example it would be I create more and more money, and I have time for my horses every day. I create more and more money, and I have time for reading every day. I create more and more money, and I have time to talk with my mom every day. Because I don't have to choose. That's scarcity thinking. That is societal conditioning. I always say money is choice and money is freedom. So let's start linking choice and freedom together with money in your thoughts and in your belief systems. Yes?

All right. So I like to make these statements then into yes ands. So, for example, one of my yes ands is my seven-figure goals and my horse time freedom. So it's the thing that I want around money and the thing that I want in my life.

Now what happens when you start embracing that money is yes and is you get curious, and you get creative. You send your brain looking for ways to create what you want free of the conflict of either or. Your brain and your creativity are going to start seeking out charging more, maybe considering switching up your niche so that your opportunity to make more money is more of an open door for you. This is why I'm such a fan, a huge fan, of coaching women entrepreneurs because that is a niche that is incredibly joyful and fulfilling to coach and so much easier to make more money compared to most other niches.

Now, the other thing that happens with yes and thinking is that you consider new choices that you may not have considered before. That's what happened for me when I decided to start coaching women entrepreneurs after the first year or so in my business, and when I was failing miserably.

It was like a switch flipped for me, and I immediately got off the struggle bus and started loving my coaching business. I started making so much more money literally the moment I made that decision. I went from scraping it together money to jumping into six figures and then into multi-six figures and then into seven figures.

Now when I add it all up, since 2008, I've made just under 30 million dollars since 2008. That's a lot of money just from coaching women entrepreneurs. I have the time freedom with my horses, and I have the time to talk with my mom every day and have the joy and fulfillment and sense of purpose that I had always wanted so, so much.

So, by the way, if you're curious what it could look like for you to coach women entrepreneurs, be sure to check out my Money Breakthrough Business Coach certified coach training. This is where I teach you exactly how to coach women entrepreneurs from a feminine woman-centered approach using my done-for-you coaching materials that you get to brand as your own.

So Money Breakthrough Business Coaching is very special, and students inside of certification, they're making money coaching even before they're certified. So I'll link to it in the show notes, and you can go check that out.

So to wrap up here, number one, either or is always going to put you into a state of conflict. It's going to force you into this uncomfortable space of feeling like you have to choose to be rich or to have those things that are priceless, like time freedom, joy, family experiences, all the goodness of life. You don't have to choose.

Number two, either or is just an idea that you at choice to subscribe to or not. I suggest not. Number three, yes and thinking is the belief that money and what you value go together like chocolate and strawberries. Both are wonderful, and they complement each other.

Number four, it's time to catch yourself in either or thinking and instead switch it out for yes and thinking. I gave you that simple coaching exercise so that you can answer the question what is your yes and? Remember making more money is never a trade-off of what you value most. The only thing you have to sacrifice to create more money are those old thoughts and beliefs that keep you in that state of conflict. That doesn't serve you or what you're capable of achieving with your coaching. I'm just saying.

All right thank you so much for listening and sharing space with me here. I would love for you to drop me an email. You can send it to podcast@kendallsummerhawk.com, and ask me a question. Ask me what you want to know about money, about coaching, about pricing, which I totally geek out on. I'm here for you, and I will see you next week for our next episode together.

Thank you so much for tuning into this week's episode of The Money Coach School Podcast. If you enjoyed this podcast, make sure you follow so you never miss an episode. Also, I would so love and appreciate if you would leave a 5-star review. Your review supports women just like you in discovering all of the juicy tips and insights I’m sharing here on how to coach women on money.

And if you want to learn how to excel at coaching women on money, definitely go to KendallSummerHawk.com and check out the wealth of money coach trainings that we have for you. Thanks so much for being part of this money coaching movement and for tuning into the show every week.