Ep #10: Being Ok Making Money When Others Aren’t

Do you find yourself feeling guilt or shame when you're making more than the others around you? This is such a common problem for women, especially in the coaching space. It's a problem that can hold you back in subtle sneaky ways from achieving your money goals and really stepping into that high earning status that you secretly desire.

Stay tuned to find out the secret to releasing guilt or shame so that you can feel good about the money you make, and why this is so important to your self-concept as a coach and a leader. I'm Kendall, and I'm going to share with you why making more than others does not make you a bad person. I'm going to share one of my secret coaching tricks to releasing guilt or shame, three of my favorite strategies, and three money beliefs that will support you in this process. It's all here for you in this episode of The Money Coach School Podcast. Let's dive in.

Welcome to The Money Coach School Podcast. To really excel at coaching women, you have to be skilled, confident, and even fearless at money coaching. If you're passionate about women holding genuine money power and love supporting women entrepreneurs, then this is the show for you. Now, here's your host, money feminist Kendall SummerHawk.

Hello beautiful coaches, and welcome to another episode of The Money Coach School Podcast. I think it's safe to say that all of us intuitive women in the coaching space are feeling all the feels about what's happening in the world right now. That's one of the gifts and the drawbacks at the same time of being a highly empathetic person, which I know you are because you're like me, and that's how I am.

We can so easily take on the feelings of others, which really are not ours to feel unless we're being intentional and highly self-aware. That's what inspired me to bring you today's episode. As I record this, I'm right in the middle of preparing a launch coming up in less than a week from when this episode airs.

This is a two day free masterclass that's all about the energy and the strategy of coaching women entrepreneurs because you need both. You need to reset your mindset, getting your self-concept aligned with being a coach, and you need a simple, reliable model that as a new or newer coach you can use to start successfully coaching women entrepreneurs. Having a model is the secret to how you can really excel with your coaching skills, be the most impactful coach possible, and get clients life changing results, which feels so amazing to experience as a coach, right?

So the free masterclass is amazing. It's got all kinds of coaching demos and checklists and structures that you can take with you and use in your coaching and more. I'll drop a link to register for the free masterclass in the show notes below, and you can check that out.

So here I am getting ready for a free masterclass, which is going to open the doors to one of my certification trainings. The point is I'm going to be making a chunk of money in just a couple of weeks. That's awesome. That's amazing. And I noticed I felt a twinge of money shame. Or maybe for you, it would be guilt. For me, my go to it's always shame.

Now I know where that feeling comes from. I know feeling that way is not rational. But guess what? Money emotions are rarely rational. So today, I want to share with you a simple way to release guilt or shame about making more. Then I'm going to give you three of my favorite quick strategies to support you in releasing those feelings so that you can free yourself to make the money that you desire, more and more, always more and more. Minus the guilt, minus any shame hangover, that maybe you've been dragging along with you from the past.

I'm also including three unique belief statements that I've integrated into the podcast today. So grab your journal or your tablet because you don't want to miss these. Let's dive in.

First, making more money when others aren't, it does not make you a bad person. It doesn't make you greedy. It doesn't make you anything negative. It simply means that you've been doing the work, whatever that has looked like for you, and now it's paying off. It also means that you're in a high money cycle. That's amazing and awesome, and I want you to enjoy every moment of it.

It didn't just, quote unquote, happen to you. You earned it by using your brain and your intuition and your energy.

All right, so here's the secret to releasing guilt or shame so that you can feel good about the money you make and why this is so important to your self-concept as a coach and a leader. So there are two levels you can access to support yourself in feeling okay with making money when others aren't. One works well, and the other doesn't.

What matters is that the purpose of each of these levels is the same, to stop feeling that guilt or shame. The problem is if all you're doing is trying to make that feeling go away, which is basic human nature, then nothing has been transformed. Nothing has up leveled or evolved or there's been no expansion. It's a stuffing it down type of energy and a stuffing it down and kind of thinking. That just means shame or guilt is still there, and it still has its claws into you.

That's what happens in level one, which I'll come back to and explain in just a moment. What you want to do instead, instead of trying to just stuff it down and get rid of it or just make it go away. What you want to do instead is discover a place of comfort, of appreciation, and acceptance within yourself, what I call money peace. When you can feel that, there's no place for shame or guilt. In that moment, it just doesn't exist any longer.

Now, it's not to say that shame or guilt won't resurface. But over time, with practice and intention, it gets less and less fierce in the strength of how it feels, and it crops up less and less. This is what you can experience in level two, which I will also explain in just a moment. So let's go a little deeper into each of these levels. Then I'll give you tips on how to access level two every time money guilt or shame about making more than others crops up.

Level one. I call level one justifying. This is where I see women defaulting to most of the time. So justifying is where you're making some money, maybe you sign on a new client or you have a launch go really well, however it happened, you're excited. You're happy. Then it happens. Guilt or shame strikes you and you recognize it because you start to shrink or a contract. You start talking yourself out of all those good feelings that you were feeling.

Then because you want to rid yourself of feeling shame or guilt, you default to telling yourself things like well I deserve it, and you say it and kind of that defensive way. I deserve it. I've worked hard. Or you kind of slip into a different angle and you diminish it by saying I got lucky. It was a fluke. Now, none of that self-talk actually makes you feel better. It just substitutes feeling shame or guilt with feeling diminished in some other way. I remember hearing Tony Robbins say that men engage in one-upmanship and women engage in one-downmanship, which is what level one justifying is all about. So let's talk about level two.

Level two is embracing. Embracing means just saying yes, I'm making money. I'm in a high money cycle right now. I'm going to love and enjoy every freaking moment of it. Now, this may sound really corny, but, for me, embracing means feeling love and feeling the deepest of gratitude and appreciation that this is the experience I'm having at this time. So my self-talk is full of that wonder and appreciation and gratitude. It includes lots of saying thank you, I appreciate you to money. I actually say that to money and to the experience of having it come in.

I appreciate how excited my clients are to invest in themselves through me. I feel incredibly deep gratitude that I get paid to do this deep transformational work, which feels like such a gift. What I love so much about level two is that you're associating all kinds of positive, richly wonderful emotions with money. You're anchoring in feeling good about money and feeling good about having money coming in.

Anchoring in those feelings is such an incredibly powerful tool that you have to start shifting your relationship with money. It's a powerful tool to use it a different time when you're in a lower money cycle because money is cyclical. I'll talk more about that in a future podcast episode.

So you can choose to default and justify, which only serves to substitute feeling guilt or shame with feeling crappy and some other way. Or you can choose to embrace that right now you're in a high money cycle. Isn't that incredible? Isn't that what you want to experience more of in your business? So choosing level two is how you stay open to receiving, open to success, open to being in full gratitude, and open for more.

So then the question is how do you skip level one justifying and be in level two embracing? Here are three of my favorite quick strategies to support you in this. Number one, stay out of all or nothing thinking. You having money doesn't mean someone else does not have that same money. You're not vying for literally the same dollars. There's a belief I hold is that there's always more and more money. Money is being created, generated, and made all the time everywhere around me.

Number two, the universe is in charge of timing, not you. When money for you is here now, it's here for you now. Someone else's turn will come as well, but that's in there divine timing. Yours is right now. I love holding the belief that money is coming, money is coming. That's it. Money is coming, money is coming.

Number three, be a leader. feeling guilt or shame that you're making more when others aren't, is full blown denial of you, as a leader, don't do that. You have no idea how you make the more than someone else can inspire and ignite a fire for another woman. Be a leader. Don't shrink from that awesome and incredible trajectory that you're on. Leaders lead, imperfections and all.

It's okay to feel proud of the money you're making. It's okay to have more than someone else because this is just one way that you're showing up as a leader. My belief here is that leaders make money to show what is possible. So the questions I want to leave you with are these.

Are you willing to be okay making money when others aren't? Because that's what next level leadership looks like. That's what next level ascendancy as a coach looks like. Are you willing to step into that so that you can be of service at the highest level? Being willing to feel uncomfortable for the sake of freedom to make more and more?

Are you willing to release guilt or shame when those feelings come up so that self-judgment releases its hold on you, and you can be fully in gratitude and appreciation for the incredible abundance that's opening up for you right now? Remember, you making more means you're a leader, and you never know who is seeing you as a role model.

To wrap up here today, here are those three beliefs again for you to write down and really feel into. Number one, there's always more and more money.

Money's being created, generated, and made all of the time everywhere around you. Number two, money is coming, money is coming. Number three, leaders make money to show what is possible. That's it. Guess what? You've got this. Thank you for listening. I'm excited to connect with you again next week in our next episode.

Thank you so much for tuning into this week's episode of The Money Coach School Podcast. If you enjoyed this podcast, make sure you follow so you never miss an episode. Also, I would so love and appreciate if you would leave a 5-star review. Your review supports women just like you in discovering all of the juicy tips and insights I’m sharing here on how to coach women on money.

And if you want to learn how to excel at coaching women on money, definitely go to KendallSummerHawk.com and check out the wealth of money coach trainings that we have for you. Thanks so much for being part of this money coaching movement and for tuning into the show every week.