Ep #65: The Money Feminist's Guide to Claiming Your Right to Make, Have, and Hold Money

Have you ever been told that money is masculine? It's a paradigm that is rampant in society and in the online coaching space, and it's one I could not disagree with more. Money isn't masculine. Money crosses the gender divide. The sooner you see all of the inherently feminine aspects of money, the sooner that you'll create greater and greater alignment with you making, keeping, and holding more money.

I'm Kendall, and if today's episode has a bit of a rant vibe, it's with good reason. I am a money feminist, and I want to open your eyes to all of the stereotypes and the misconceptions about money and what it means to be feminine that it's time to shatter. It's all here for you in this episode of The Money Coach School Podcast. Let's dive in. 

Welcome to The Money Coach School Podcast. To really excel at coaching women, you have to be skilled, confident, and even fearless at money coaching. If you're passionate about women holding genuine money power and love supporting women entrepreneurs, then this is the show for you. Now, here's your host, money feminist Kendall SummerHawk.

Hello, beautiful coaches. I'm so glad you're here with me today. At the time of recording this episode for you, we are heading right into the holidays. I absolutely love this time of year because we, as a family, don't celebrate the holidays, which means there is a total absence of pressure, which is so good.

I know that not celebrating the holidays may sound strange to some of you, but honestly, making that decision as a family a number of years ago felt incredible. We don't do presents. We don't have obligations. We have a special family lunch on Christmas Day and on New Year's Day because nothing makes my mom happier than having us all together, and that's it.

I also love this time of year because people are generally kinder to each other. Kindness is a core value for me, and if you spend more than a minute with me, you're going to experience kindness with some kick-butt coaching. I also love this time of year because it's a very creative time for me with my creativity popping out all kinds of new ideas of certifications I want to create for you and really expanding into my vision for the Money Coach School.

So I trust that whatever your holiday tradition is, that it includes joyful time for you to unwind, to feel into what makes you feel good, and creating space for an incredible start of the new year.

So let's talk about money and femininity because there is this huge misconception that money is by nature masculine. This is utterly ridiculous. The belief that money is masculine is one of those beliefs that I hear getting circulated around the self-growth and the coaching world, and it is utterly not true.

I think this misconception springs from how we've been socialized to believe that women are not supposed to worry their pretty little heads about money, that making money and paying attention to money is for men. I'm a money feminist, so, of course, this goes against everything that I believe in and live by, and it obviously goes against everything that I coach and train on. If this belief that money is masculine is one that you've been secretly harboring, I'm going to ask you to stop today.

It's a belief that is not useful to you in making a lot of money and in being the amazing, empowered woman with money that you actually want to be. The messaging that money isn't feminine subtly and insidiously keeps an unconscious hold on women, keeping them from fully believing in their authority and in their right to make, have, and hold money.

I want you to really think about this for a moment. If someone is secretly harboring this idea that money isn't feminine, is she going to play full out in making money? No. She's going to subconsciously feel a conflict inside of herself. She's going to want to make money, but she's going to feel there will be a negative price to pay if she does.

She's going to link together a negative consequence to making a lot of money, like maybe she won't be seen as desirable or sexy by men, or she won't be as accepted by the women in her life who are really important to her. That messaging, that money isn't feminine, means if you're making money, if you're interested in money, if you're using money as this incredibly powerful self-growth tool, then that means you're not feminine. That, my beautiful soul, creates shame. I am here to slay any and all shame associated with women making money.

Money isn't all feminine or all masculine. It crosses the gender divide. Even the word money is feminine. I looked it up. The English word money first appeared around the 14th century, and it came from the Latin word moneta, a name given to the Roman goddess Juno, because her temple was either at or near where the Romans first began minting coins around 300 BC. So, money, literally the word, is feminine.

There is so much ridiculousness about money being masculine online. I've seen major news outlets with articles literally saying that “feminine energy is not lucrative.” What? Are you freaking kidding me? I saw a chart in one of these articles that lists masculine aspects of money being things like logical, confident, focused, strong, stable, clear, goal-oriented. On the flip side, it listed feminine aspects as intuitive, generous, nurturing, creative, collaborative, caring, grateful.

I want you to really feel into the energy of those words for both masculine and feminine. They're putting forward this stigma that if you're logical, confident, and strong and clear, you're not feminine. That it's only feminine to be nurturing, caring, and grateful.

Now, let me be clear. If you believe that being confident, focused, strong, and clear is masculine, then you're unlikely to allow yourself to embrace and embody those characteristics, because women don't want to be those things. They want to be what they've been perceiving as feminine. So, if you're believing that those things are the opposite of feminine, you're not going to believe those things. If you don't believe those things, you won't be those things. You're going to default to creating a self-concept that is generous, nurturing, and grateful, which are all wonderful qualities, but not strong, not confident, and not clear.

Let me be very specific about this. If you say, well, I can be both masculine and feminine so that I can cultivate all of those qualities together, that sounds nice, but it still buys into the paradigm that money is masculine, not feminine. I don't buy into that paradigm. What I want for you as a paradigm where being strong is feminine, being clear is feminine, being confident is feminine. This means shattering the belief system that we've been unconsciously programmed to believe and recreating instead a belief paradigm where creative, intuitive, confident, clear, strong women are feminine and they make money.

Money is absolutely feminine because number one, money is receiving. I know people in the coaching space love to say money is an exchange, but that is another concept I do not believe. I find it to be really detrimental to a woman's money empowerment because the word exchange is so easily felt as a form of bartering. It's like it has that intonation to it, or the word exchange triggers questions of worthiness and value.

So, no, we're not going to get into those things here today. Trust me, I will in a future podcast episode. Let me just come back to money being receiving. You receive money, period. Women are literally built to receive, and we know how to receive with grace.

Number two, money is emotion. For years, I've said money isn't energy, money is emotion, and women are masters at emotion. We feel everything, right? It's like if emotions were a musical scale, we can play all of the notes. This is what's behind so much of my passion for all of the money certifications and trainings that we have at the Money Coach School, giving you coaching tools and paradigm shifts to put you in and at choice of your emotions with money.

I think this is one of the many reasons why my Sacred Money Archetypes® Certified Coach Training has been so wildly popular for the past decade, because discovering your Sacred Money Archetypes, it gives you a deep understanding and clarity about why you feel the way you do about money. If you've not checked out Sacred Money Archetypes or taken the quiz yet, I will drop those links for you in the show notes. You can take the quiz, and you can check out certification.

Number three, money is a journey of self-growth. How feminine is that, right? Money is the most powerful mirror that you can use on your journey of learning who you are, of creating unquestioning self-acceptance and self-love, of owning your worth in the world.

Now, when I say owning your worth, I'm not saying it's based on the amount that you make. Of course, it's not that. Owning your worth is knowing in your deepest heart and soul that you are fully and completely worthy from the moment you were born. Money is the mirror for all of this self-discovery because money reflects our childhood wounds. It reflects when we question our worth. It reflects any shame or not accepting ourselves as whole and gorgeous from the inside out.

Lastly, at least for today, money is feminine because number four, money is contribution. You receive money because you are contributing to creating transformation in people's lives through your coaching, through your services, and through you just being the amazing, generous, gifted person that you are. The feeling of contribution is so empowering. It's so fulfilling. Like, I just love the feeling of contribution. I believe it's a driving force for many of us, for you, for me, and everyone listening to this podcast.

I was thinking about this episode, and I just recently read an article about the incredible work that three powerhouse and highly respected women are doing, and very, very, very rich women, Michelle Obama, Melinda Gates, and Amal Clooney. What they've done is they've teamed up together to make a difference in ending child brides.

So, at the current rate of change, it will be over 300 years before young girls are no longer being forced to become child brides. But with the contribution of these three women, they're on a mission to end child brides in less than a single generation. They are creating gender justice. This is contribution. It's through their wealth and power in the world that these three women are able to affect this type of change. I think it's just mind-blowingly phenomenal.

I've money coached thousands and thousands of women. I've heard their stories. What I see is when a woman gets competitive, or gets uncomfortable, or gets triggered in some way, that's when she feels that she hates money. That's when she starts to blame money, or say it's not feminine, or it's not about the money. There's some form of discounting and diminishment there. 

But money is feminine because money is receiving. Money is feminine because it's a journey of self-growth. Money is feminine because money is contribution. These are undeniably feminine qualities that make us feel so good deep in our soul about being a woman.

Self-growth is you learning more and more about yourself and how to be the highest level version of yourself possible in this moment. You lean into fulfilling your potential, expanding what you think you're capable of. You making a contribution through your coaching that changes other people's lives. You receive money because that's what strong feminine women do. It's all feminine. It's all good.

I would really love to hear what you think. Drop me an email at podcast at KendallSommerhawk.com and tell me your thoughts about this episode. I promise you I read every single email that comes in. All right, thank you for listening. I hope you enjoyed this episode this week. I'm excited to connect with you again next week in our next episode.

Thank you so much for tuning into this week's episode of The Money Coach School Podcast. If you enjoyed this podcast, make sure you follow so you never miss an episode. Also, I would so love and appreciate if you would leave a 5-star review. Your review supports women just like you in discovering all of the juicy tips and insights I’m sharing here on how to coach women on money.

And if you want to learn how to excel at coaching women on money, definitely go to KendallSummerHawk.com and check out the wealth of money coach trainings that we have for you. Thanks so much for being part of this money coaching movement and for tuning into the show every week.