Ep #4: Being Good vs. Being Rich: The Money Paradigm That Isn’t Serving You

If you've ever gotten the messaging that you can either be a good person or you can make money, I'm here to tell you this is simply not true. There truly is no dichotomy between being a good person and having the desire to make a lot of money. Both can coexist in a perfectly balanced, integrated way for you if you're willing to rebel against old paradigms that do not serve you.

Stay tuned to find out the steps you can take today to step away from the myths that have surrounded women and their desire to make money. I'm Kendall, and I'm going to share with you key insights on how to live true to your values and make incredible money in this episode of The Money Coach School Podcast.

Welcome to The Money Coach School Podcast. To really excel at coaching women, you have to be skilled, confident, and even fearless at money coaching. If you're passionate about women holding genuine money power and love supporting women entrepreneurs, then this is the show for you. Now, here's your host, money feminist Kendall SummerHawk.

Hello, beautiful coaches. Welcome. Here we are with episode number four. It's so interesting that before launching the podcast, I kept a journal of all of the ideas and inspiration for episodes to bring to you. So far, I haven't even looked at that list. Instead, I'm using my intuition and checking in with what might be most on your mind and on your heart when it comes to you and your self-concept with money.

I'm sure as I settled into producing this podcast, I'll definitely go back to that original journal. But for now, I'm trusting what my intuition is saying to bring to you here and now. So as I've said before in prior episodes, my whole intention and purpose as we're on this journey together is to bring you juicy tips and insights on how you can shift your self-concept about money.

Plus, I'm sharing with you how to excel at coaching other women entrepreneurs to reinvent their relationship with money and to see that reinvention reflected in their self-worth and success in their businesses. That's what this podcast is all about, you and the women you're meant to impact, empower, and inspire through the power of money coaching.

So today, we're talking about the line between being a good person and your desire to have money. When I say good person, I'm putting that in air quotes here. So this is a topic that comes up so, so frequently with the women that we train as money coaches. I think it's a topic that more women secretly worry about than we might outwardly realize.

Here's why we're talking about this today. Societal norms tell us women are giving and selfless and self-sacrificing. We’re sent messages since birth that women are supposed to be “good”. We're told to be a good girl, be a good daughter, be a good wife. Even for career, corporate women, they're giving their all at work, and then they go home, and they have to start picking up all the threads of daily life that still have to be done. This is all part of us trying to be good as women.

So we're also exposed to countless messages that for women, wanting money means being selfish, or at the very least being self-centered. We’re imprinted with messages that wanting money, desiring money is something that someone would only do for themselves, not for others. But is that really true?

I don't think so. In fact, I know it's not true. What if the desire for money is really the desire for independence? What if the desire for money is really an expression of our creativity? What if the desire for money is a way for us to flex our intelligence? What if the desire for money is reflecting our capacity to help and make an impact for others?

Up until just the most recent few decades, like three to four decades, so certainly in my lifetime, most likely in yours. Women were placed in truly what is an untenable situation of needing money to live and yet being told that to focus on attaining it is in some way unfeminine or unspiritual, which is a different podcast for a different day.

The desire for money has, in the past, been thought of as masculine it its roots, but that isn't true either. Women are so new at the making money game that it's easy to slip into this default notion, this antiquated definition of money and femininity, but I don't want you to do that. Or default into believing false beliefs that the does to hire to make money is in any way in conflict with being a good person because it's not. Your definition of being good person has absolutely nothing to do with your desire to make and to have money.

So number one, there is no dichotomy between being good and desiring money. The two are not in conflict. The two have nothing to do with each other. They are, in fact, in complete harmony. I think of a flower and the stem. Both are there to support each other. I have made millions and millions of dollars through being a money coach, and now certifying women like you to be money coaches. I have lived and experienced firsthand that making money requires attention, energy, time, focus, and above all, creativity, and desire.

What I think is that very subtly, the message women receive is that if you give all of those qualities to making money then there isn't going to be anything left for taking care of other people. That flies in the face of the paradigm that women are meant solely for caretaking roles.

For me and my family, focusing my time, energy, creativity, and passion on making money, it definitely created a shift in traditional roles, and that's a good thing. For example, with my husband, Richard, and me, I don't cook. I don't grocery shop. I don't meal plan. I don't do laundry. I definitely do not run errands. I honestly have not walked into a grocery store with a shopping list and a basket in over 15/18 years.

It's not because I have any less a desire to be supportive. I didn't give up my core desire to help people and make a difference. What I did give up is the traditional set of wifely tasks. I gave up a paradigm that says as a woman, I'm not expected to excel, achieve, or create wealth. I said no to that paradigm. I said yes to my fullest self-expression.

I decided early, early on that a traditional role had nothing to do with my full self-expression. Am I a good wife? Yes. Am I a good daughter? Absolutely. My definition of what being a good wife or a good daughter or friend or whatever is of my choosing. It's not based on a multi thousand-year-old paradigm of what I, as a woman, should be.

Here's the point, the qualities that make you honor your definition of goodness or kindness or caring have nothing to do with your desire to make money. I am kind, and I love making money. I am a person of the highest integrity and honesty, and I love making money. I am a passionately loving person, and I love making money.

So when we realize that the old paradigm we want to rebel against that says you're either a good person or you want to make money, this either or, is utterly wrong, what that does is it frees us up. We're free to flip it around. You can ask yourself new paradigm questions. For example, you can ask what if desiring money makes you a better person, right?

Which brings me to number two, you get to choose the meaning you give to your desire to make money. So the old paradigm says a woman wanting to make money is wrong or bad or unnatural in some way. But that's just one perspective. As a money feminist, it is not a perspective that I buy into at all. I always say money is not energy, which I know everybody says it all the time. That's actually not what I focus on.

What I say is that money is meaning, and you get to choose the meaning you give it. So, for example, my desire to make an abundance of money is deeply rooted in the meaning that I'm expanding. The meaning I give to making money is deeply rooted in my belief that it's making a difference in people's lives. Making money means I'm fulfilling my soul's divine purpose at the highest level possible.

If I'm making money, that means I'm helping people. I'm being creative. I'm growing, learning, expanding. I'm being brave and courageous. I'm mastering my craft of coaching and teaching and marketing. So my coaching question for you is what meaning can you link to making money that lights you up, that feels authentic and powerful for you, that feels like it comes from your heart.

That leads me to number three. It's time to create a money story where you live true to your core values, and you make incredible money. I always say money is an amplifier. It doesn't change who you are. It amplifies your core characteristics. I am unstoppable in my desire to help people. I adore helping people because that is part of my self-expression. I am unstoppable in my desire to create money because that is also part of my self-expression.

So when I integrate these two together, what I create is a belief that the more people I help, the more money I make. The more money I make, the more people I'm helping. There's no separation, only connection between my core value of being of service and making money. So in this way, I'm never out of alignment with making money.

So we talked about how there is no dichotomy between being good and wanting money, how the two are not in conflict, have nothing to do with each other, you get to have both, because they are, in fact, in complete harmony. We talked about how you get to choose the meaning you give to your desire to make money.

So I ask you, what is that positive, affirming, expansive, meaning that you want to link with your desire to make money? Because money is meaning, and you get to choose the meaning you give it. We talked about how it's time to create a money story where you live true to your core values, and you make incredible money.

Money is that amplifier. It doesn't change who you are, it amplifies who you are. When you integrate your core values with making money, you're never, ever out of alignment. You're not out of alignment with your values, and you're not out of alignment with making money. All right, I have loved sharing space with you here today. I hope the ideas presented here today get you out of default, thinking that there is a line between being a good person and your desire to make money. There is no line. There is only you.

You are a whole integrated person who lives true to your core values and who has a deep desire to make money. That's you. This is your self-expression. This is what it looks like to be a woman in today's world. You are perfect and beautiful and soul-centered and full of heart and fire and passion just as you are.

What used to be looked at as a separation or a dichotomy, it isn't anymore. It's now an integration and wholly aligned definition of being a woman, fully self-expressed and creating a wealth of money. So thank you for listening, and I can't wait to connect with you again here next week in our next episode.

Thank you so much for tuning into this week's episode of The Money Coach School Podcast. If you enjoyed this podcast, make sure you follow so you never miss an episode. Also, I would so love and appreciate if you would leave a 5-star review. Your review supports women just like you in discovering all of the juicy tips and insights I’m sharing here on how to coach women on money.

And if you want to learn how to excel at coaching women on money, definitely go to KendallSummerHawk.com and check out the wealth of money coach trainings that we have for you. Thanks so much for being part of this money coaching movement and for tuning into the show every week.