Ep #30: How Not To Let Your Coaching Sessions Run Over: Use These 3 Smart Strategies Instead

Hey coach. Have you ever found yourself at the end of giving a coaching session, and your client is doesn't seem done? It's like they have more to say or they haven't reached a decision yet or what you're coaching on has more layers to it. I'm Kendall, and I get it. I've been there too. But running over on your coaching sessions is not doing you or your business or your client any favors.

Tune in because in today's episode, I'm going to share with you three ways of thinking about your coaching when a client does not feel or seem done near the end of the session so that you don't feel guilty and so that you don't get hooked into over coaching. Then I'm going to share with you three specific strategies that you can use to handle this when it happens with grace and mastery.

If you love to coach but do not want to over deliver and feel burnt out, this is the episode for you. It's all here for you in this episode of The Money Coach School Podcast. Let's dive in.

Welcome to The Money Coach School Podcast. To really excel at coaching women, you have to be skilled, confident, and even fearless at money coaching. If you're passionate about women holding genuine money power and love supporting women entrepreneurs, then this is the show for you. Now, here's your host, money feminist Kendall SummerHawk.

Hello, beautiful coach. I am so glad that you are here today sharing space with me and talking about what I love most in my business, which is coaching. When I started this podcast last year, my vision was to bring to you a podcast that talked about all things money and all things coaching. It's not either or. It's yes and.

Because that's what I care about in my career in this business, coaching or more specifically sharing with you how to become masterful as a coach and masterful at running your coaching business and talking with you about money. How to shift your self-concept about money, how to coach clients on money, how to price your coaching, and all things money in your coaching business. It's so much fun.

So some of our episodes are money centric and some are coaching skills centric. You get the best of both here in the podcast. So welcome to my world of coaching and money.

Being a coach, learning the skill of coaching, and actually coaching is why I started this business. I've been in business now over 23 years. It's amazing. I remember like it was just yesterday the moment I first heard about this thing called coaching, and I immediately fell in love with it. At the time of starting my business, what I wanted most was to coach, was to change people's lives, and most of all, to be my own boss. To have total control over my time. It wasn't about the money. At that time, who knew that coaching was such an incredible opportunity for women to make so much money?

I absolutely love the innocence of that time because it was pre-social media. So I want you to think about it. No keeping up with other coaches. No constant bombardment with reels and stories and launching and all the things right. The thing I'm so grateful for about that time is it allowed me to really focus on my coaching skills. It allowed me to put my focus on becoming masterful as a coach. It allowed me to focus on defining who I am as a coach and what I wanted my coaching to sound like, to feel like, and to be like.

Because I believe that the world needs more incredible coaches, bold coaches, brave coaches, coaches who are willing to go soul deep with their clients so that they create extraordinary results. Coaches who know how to create extraordinary results with little time or energy spent on their part. This is the kind of coaching that changes lives for both you as the coach and for your clients.

What the world does not need are more mediocre coaches. It pains me to say that, but I stand behind it. There are too many heart centered women who mean well, but who are just dabbling a coaching. So the coaching is meandering. The coaching comes from a place of winging it with no clear direction and no structure to it.

I believe that to truly succeed in the coaching space, you have to be powerful as a coach. Being powerful does not mean being bossy or consulting or being assertive or anything like that. What it means is being bold and brave and sensitive. It means understanding why you're asking a question. Most of all, it means knowing what you're listening for and listening deeply.

Now if you have not yet downloaded a copy of my free 31 Coaching Questions That Work With Every Client, this free guide, you definitely want to get your hands on that. I'll put a link for it here in the show notes.

Now I'm a person who deeply embraces mastery. I absolutely adore becoming so good at something that it feels deep and meaningful and impactful, and yet,  at the same time, full of grace and ease. It's like the yummiest feeling in the world. With coaching, mastery feels like a dance between you and your client. You feel connected. You feel deeply curious. It's like you lead, but your client is showing you where to go.

That mastering coaching can happen very, very quickly, even if you're a newer coach. Because it's not about that ridiculous rule of 10,000 hours. You can practice something the wrong way for 10,000 hours. All that happens is you get really good at doing something the wrong way. No. Mastery in your coaching happens quickly when you learn the how to in the right way, when you have guidance and structures that support you so that every coaching session that you give advances your skills, deepens your abilities, and expands your confidence.

One of the things that I decided very early on in my coaching business is that coaching isn't a switch that I flip on and off. I decided that I am a coach, period. So I take a coach approach to every aspect of my business. That has led me to create an astonishing amount of money, nearly $30 million dollars since 2008 and growing. It's also led me to reduce the friction and instead create grace and ease in every corner of my business because I take a coach approach to everything.

Think of it this way. You get to be a coach and use your coaching abilities in every situation you encounter with your business. So today, what I want to talk with you about is how to be a powerful coach in a coaching session when you're nearing the end of the session, and it feels like your client isn't, quote unquote, done. Now, this is one of the most common situations that can be triggering for you as a coach if you are a perfectionist.

Not being done means you might feel that there's more to coach on, or the client is still confused or unclear, or they haven't made a decision yet, or they just don't sound complete. Or my favorite, they bring up a tangential topic, or they start taking the thread that you've been coaching on to the next step. So now, all of a sudden, there's an entirely new level to coach on. However it happens, it happens. But it does not mean you keep coaching and let your coaching session run over.

Because trust me, and I want you to really take this in, no matter how long a session is clients can always not be done at the end of the session time. Inside of certification, we teach how to create deep transformation in just 30 minute coaching sessions for one on one, and typically 60 minutes for group coaching. That's it. 30 minutes. With a little practice and having the right skills, you just do not need more time. It's not only not helpful for your client, it can be harmful to your business, and it leads to burnout.

So first, I want to give you three ways of thinking about your coaching when a client does not feel or seem done near the end of the session. Then I'm going to share with you three strategies on how you can handle this with grace and mastery.

So first, how to think about your coaching when a client doesn't feel or seem done near the end of the session. Number one, do not let it mean anything about you and your coaching. This happens. It's not a problem. It's not a big deal. I consider it normal. Some clients just aren't quite ready yet to be done with what it is they want coaching on. That's okay. It means nothing about you.

I can be like this as a client myself. So right now I'm working with my coach on a lot of messaging. Left to my own devices, I could sit there and talk about it for hours. Thank God, she doesn't let me. We wrap up. While I don't feel done, absolutely not, as the client, I have the choice as to what I do next. I can work on it on my own. I can let my brain and my creativity problem solve and create solutions between coaching sessions. I can do what I want. I don't make it mean anything about my coach. I know she does not let it mean anything about her or her coaching.

Number two, you are in charge of the session time. Not your client, you. That means not going over time except perhaps on rare and very infrequent occasions. Not being done at the end of the session is not a reason to go over. Really stick to your coaching time and use the how to strategies that I'm about to share with you to accomplish this.

You're going to keep your coaching clean, you'll sharpen your coaching skills, you'll feel amazing about your boundaries, and your clients will quickly learn and understand and even appreciate those boundaries. Please, please do not get caught in guilt or get hooked by a client who's always wanting more and more. Longer session times will still not make those types of clients happy.

Number three, you are not doing your client a favor or being an extra good coach or a good person by going over time. Coaching is not people pleasing. One of the true superpowers of coaching and why it's such a brilliant tool for creating change and growth is that it creates transformation and decision making in a very short period of time, a very concentrated period of time. When you remove the boundary of that shorter timeframe, you lose the ability to do that.

Now, it doesn't mean your coaching sessions feel rushed. Not at all. But when you have shorter sessions, like the 30 minute sessions we train our coaches to use, you train your brain and you train your clients to energetically come to decisions much, much faster. Not in a rushed way, but in a very intentional way.

All right, so here are three strategies on how you can handle wrapping up a coaching session with grace and mastery even when the client isn't quite done. So how to strategy number one, start to wrap up five minutes before the end of the session. For example, you can say we have five more minutes and then pause. Then you can ask what decision or what option are you thinking of right now? Or what would you like to see happen? What would you like to see happen next? What do you see as a next step? Where if you were to boil this down to three options, what would those be?

So I just gave you four or five different types of questions that you can ask towards the end of the coaching session. Any of those are great options for what to ask that bring a client into a feeling of conclusion without feeling rushed.

How to strategy number two, champion the client's certainty. What this means is using language and questions that create a feeling of a milestone, or of a bringing together. It's using language that starts to create specificity, questions that remind a client of what is known, what is clear. So for example, you can ask, tell me what you know now that you didn't know when we started today. You can ask what is clear for you now. Questions like these creates certainty, because they're asking clients to tap into what they do know and are taking forward with them.

How to strategy number three, avoid opening up a new train of thought to coach on. Your coaching in these last few minutes of a coaching session is focused on closing loops, not opening new ones. So definitely avoid questions like what are some possible options?

Or if you decide to blank, blank, what are the pros and cons of that? Oh, my God, don't ask that. Okay. Not in the last five minutes of a session. Questions like those are going to open an entirely new train of thought. So save those for starting a session, not for ending a session. What you can do is let your client know that you hear there's something else to coach on, and that you're making a note of it for another coaching session.

Now, one last tip I want to share with you is for goodness sakes, do not apologize for ending on time. So don't say oh, I'm so sorry. I wish we could go longer, or I'm so sorry. I know there's more you want to coach on. Please do not do that. For the love of all things coaching, do not do that. You ending your session on time creates healthy boundaries for you. It trains you to be a better coach who is confident that you can get results quickly. It trains your clients to see that they can problem solve or make decisions without excessive waffling or churning.

I so fully believe that what honors you, honors your coaching business, and what honors your coaching business also, in the long run, honors your clients. So end your sessions on time and don't feel guilty because truly, ending on time is a signal of self-respect and respect for your client as well. If you want more free training on coaching skills, be sure to download that guide the 31 Coaching Questions That Work With Every Client. Again, I'll put a link for it in the show notes.

This is not your typical random list of coaching questions. You know me and know that the content I share with you is of a much higher caliber than that. So what I did in this free download is outline for you four distinct styles of coaching questions and why each works exceptionally well to create all that transformation that you desire for clients. I included over 31 coaching questions so you can see each of the four distinct styles of coaching in action.

Now we've already had thousands of women download it just since releasing it a few weeks ago. So I think you're going to love it. All right. Thank you for listening and definitely drop me an email at podcast@kendallsummerhawk.com. Ask me any question that you want about money, pricing, coaching. I am here for you. All right, my beautiful soul. I will see you in next week's episode.

Thank you so much for tuning into this week's episode of The Money Coach School Podcast. If you enjoyed this podcast, make sure you follow so you never miss an episode. Also, I would so love and appreciate if you would leave a 5-star review. Your review supports women just like you in discovering all of the juicy tips and insights I’m sharing here on how to coach women on money.

And if you want to learn how to excel at coaching women on money, definitely go to KendallSummerHawk.com and check out the wealth of money coach trainings that we have for you. Thanks so much for being part of this money coaching movement and for tuning into the show every week.